THE SONG THAT GETS ME THROUGH

I can’t believe it’s been 4 months since we blogged last. And to think, I had hopes of doing this more regularly! But it has been a crazy season with moving to a new city, starting at a new church, adjusting to new schools, making new friends, buying a new house and let’s throw in a kitchen remodel too because the Colemans never do anything easy. I have to share some before and after pics because I’m in love with it all…

Here is our kitchen before…

And here is some of the construction. When the workers framed out the new kitchen island, we took the opportunity to write all over it! We wrote our names (can I tell you how much I love that my kids still include Bennett in everything!), we wrote verses and Davis did math. It was awesome. The workers the following day were a little surprised with our additions…

Now here is the after! We still have walls to paint but it’s everything we prayed for. We truly desire this to be a kitchen where people sit and break bread together, where hearts are shared and memories are made…

So you can see, it’s been a little crazy around here lately. And I honestly thought that leaving Lafayette would break me because of what we walked through there with our son Bennett. But it hasn’t. Instead, I truly believe we are in a place of healing for our family. Something we desperately needed.

Something else we needed was change.

Many counselors will tell you not to make any drastic changes in the first year of grieving a major loss. So we didn’t. We needed that time to grieve and not adjust to anything new. But our time was due. I was ready to sit in a worship service at church and not cry tears of pain with every song. I was ready for my husband to be appreciated for the gifts God has given him. I was ready to not be confused if I called it Bennett’s bedroom or Landry’s bedroom.

I was ready.

But as you know, with change comes adjustments too. As much as I love our new church, it’s also a place that most don’t know we really have four kids and not just three. I wish they had the opportunity to know our little blessed one. And as much as I love our new house, it’s also the first one where Bennett doesn’t have a room. That’s just hard.

Nothing is easy when you lose a child. Nothing.

Ok, this is getting depressing so I need to turn this ship around! The reality is I get pretty emotional as April approaches. And it’s hard to believe that Bennett’s 2nd heaven birthday is around the corner. But I have to share with you one thing that brings me hope and encouragement every day, especially as we get closer to April 28. And it comes in the form of a song.

I know all of you have heard the song Amazing Grace. But the version that adds this part is what fills this momma’s heart…

“My chains are gone. I’ve been set free. My God, my savior, has ransomed me. And like a flood, His mercies rain. Unending love, amazing grace.”

I have sung this song to all four of my kids as babies when I put them down for naps and at bedtime…so a lot! When Landry was born, I didn’t know if I could emotionally get through it. But I’m so glad I did. Because as I sing this verse now, this is what I picture EVERY TIME…

Bennett says as he’s going to heaven and released of his cancer, “My chains are gone. I’ve been set free. My God, my savior, has ransomed me.”

And I stand there looking up watching him go. But the Lord says back to me as He’s holding Bennett, “And like a flood, His mercies rain. Unending love, amazing grace.”

The Lord is my amazing grace. His love is unending. And I am flooded with His mercies daily.

I’m so grateful that the Lord knew that song would be the perfect one I needed as I rocked all of my babies, but especially as I rock Landry now and miss the one I can’t hold anymore.

So today, I want you to know His mercies are raining on you too! Just look up and you will see.

31 Comments

  1. So beautiful Megan! Thank you for sharing your words, your life, your loss, your love, your healing thoughts and God’s mercies! Continued love and prayers for your sweet & very special family!!!!!! God’s blessings daily!

  2. Landry has gotten so big! She is absolutely beautiful! We miss you guys so much but I’m so thankful that y’all are in a church where you are appreciated in the manner you both deserve! You are such a strong woman Megan!

  3. Miss all of you Megan. It is so wonderful and inspiring to see and hear your journey. You motivate me each time I read your blog. I am so glad God put your family in my path.

  4. Oh, Megan! The strength and faith that you and Ben have had throughout your journey has been an inspiration for me and for Danny. We miss seeing you, but are so thankful that God is providing healing for your family. We keep you all in our prayers. (Your kitchen remodel is gorgeous!)

    1. Y’all are bringing such hope to others too as they see you walk through everything with Alexis. Praying for you too.

  5. Megan-
    You have such a gift from God through your words. I’m so blessed by your servant’s heart. Your willingness to share God’s love and faithfulness, even through your grief is so encouraging.

  6. God is using you and your dear family mightily to bless so many Megan. We as believers are called to share others burdens and to allow others to receive comfort and encouragement as we share our burdens. The remodel on the kitchen is amazing. I’m praying for y’all daily, praising God for a new home and a new church that will bring you healing, precious memories and great joy. I love you all and miss you bunches. 😍

  7. Megan, you don’t know me but I go to church with Pastors Ann and Carter and have read your blog and prayed for you from the time Bennett was diagnosed. I have cousins who lost a son a year ago to a drug overdose and other friends who lost a son 23 years ago and I know it is an unending loss – but you have walked through this with such graciousness and faith. You are an inspiration for those of us struggling with much lesser things. May God continue to bless your family.

  8. Megan,
    You don’t know me but I followed your blog and prayed for your sweet, sweet Bennett and your family.
    What a perfect thought for that verse.
    We just lost our second grandchild to unrelated events. This is so, so hard for a mother to take for her children to go through so much pain. Our daughter is not dealing with this well at all. From a mother that has endured so much, we would love your prayers for our Olevia and Shane. Our son and his daughter have been a lot of help but each case is so different. A mother’s and father’s loss is just such a deep pain.

    I cannot believe how big your littles have grown. What a blessing it is to hear from you guys.

  9. Such a lovely and poignant post and testament to freedom in Christ on so many levels. I’ll forever have that beautiful mental image as I sing that song. Thank you, beloved friend!

  10. So happy to see you blog again. It does help in the grieving process to share & not forget those we’ve lost. Love, hugs, & prayers!

  11. I am so happy that things are going so well in Texas. I sure do miss my Colemans. I miss seeing you guys in the hallway every morning. Please give Davis a HUGE hug for me and tell him that I miss him so much and I am impressed with “his math!”
    Oh, and I love the kitchen remodel!

    1. Thanks Frankie! I will tell him. You and the girls just need to come drive here and have coffee in my kitchen one morning:)

  12. I was so happy to see the post in my mailbox today. I think of you and your family often. I’m happy to hear you are adjusting to your new home and church. Your children are beautiful. Thanks for sharing your family with us.

  13. You two sure make beautiful babies. I’m sorry we didn’t get to meet you while we were in LA over Christmas. So happy to hear of your adventures now. Sounds like your new position was in God’s plan. Pray for you all.

  14. Megan so glad to read another blog. You and family are still in my prayers.
    It was so good to meet you at the Fords and then to see you at Lucy & Eric’s wedding.
    Glad you were able to come.

  15. So beautiful Megan and I love the remodel! We miss you guys and pray for God to continue building a strong family/ friend network there for y’all.

  16. Thank you for sharing, dear Friend. I missed your posts, as the Lord has been using them to strengthen my faith as one of His tools. God is glorified through your life, sweet Megan. Love you!

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