I have to be honest, there are a lot of crappy things going on right now. My baby has cancer (I think that’s one of the first times I’ve actually typed it out), we have been isolated from people here since the day we arrived, Bennett threw up in the car today, I miss my other two kids like crazy and have never been away from them this long, my friends are so far away, we wrestle Bennett many times a day to get him to take his medicines, my husband is leaving tomorrow…do you need me to keep going?
But here’s the deal. There is so much of me that just wants to stop there and wallow in the bad. Throw myself a pity party. Curl up in a ball and feel alone. Get mad because this is the hand I’ve been dealt. And as much as I tried just a few of those tonight, I heard a sweet voice tell me that there is hope. There is always hope even in the bad…
My baby has cancer. My hope: We found it! We are at an amazing hospital that knows what they are doing and they’re going to work their tails off to save this little life.
We’ve been isolated for so long. My hope: A friend back in Lafayette has a family member here in Memphis that has reached out to us since we arrived. And now her small group is providing us meals a few times a week since we’ve been eating so much cafeteria food. People I don’t even know are feeding us. Simply amazing.
Bennett threw up in the car today. My hope: It didn’t get on me:) And that was the only time today.
I miss my other two kids. My hope: I have amazing family members that have been caring for them. They go to Asbury Day School which has gone above and beyond in loving them. I have friends already calling me to line up play dates with them. God is filling in when I can’t be there.
My friends are so far away. My hope: I talked on the phone with a sweet friend tonight for an hour and all she did was make me laugh and encourage me. Other friends are asking when they can come visit. Others are asking what items I want that would make me feel pampered. I love my friends!
Bennett is not taking his medicine. My hope: It gives me another opportunity to pray over him. Another request to bring before the Lord on his behalf. Another way to wait to see how God answers. But I am praying He answers quickly because it is pretty awful. Just look at all of those medicines and syringes they sent us home with…
My husband is leaving tomorrow. My hope: He’s leaving because he’s going to love on our other two kids who deserve it. And my sister-in-law is coming to hang out with me and Bennett!
So He has completely filled me up. Met my every need. Reminded me how much I am loved.
There is no pity party tonight. Just rejoicing in a God who is always near.