Learning a lesson from Bennett

During our clinic appointment on Wednesday we got the results back from Tuesday’s scans and had a chance to talk through them with our doctor. Mostly, our doctor is discouraged to see that the tumor is not shrinking. She believes that since we are not able to give him full doses of the chemo, Bennett is not getting all the benefits of these drugs. So here is what we know for sure…

  • The tumor is not shrinking. It’s also not growing in size, but it is growing in activity. Basically, the earliest scans showed that the center of the tumor was dead tumor (this is normal) and only the edges were active tumor. While the tumor is the same dimensions, the edges of active tumor have increased.
  • The reason his abdomen looks bigger is because Bennett’s entire liver is getting bigger.  It’s almost like it is swelling. They don’t know why this is happening and are concerned about it.
  • Some spots on his lungs are gone.  Praise God! At the same time, there is an area of his lung that was never scanned well. Tuesday’s scan was the first time we got to see it clearly and there are spots there as well. They could be new spots…but most likely they have been there a while.

So what now? Well, our doctor is working with all of the other solid tumor doctors to determine how long we stay the course and at what point we try something else. Until then, we will be doing more scans more often so that we can see exactly how the tumor responds to the different drugs. Here’s what you can pray for.

  • Pray that Bennett begins sleeping better. He is starting to hit the toughest part of this round of chemo and is not sleeping great at night.
  • Pray for the doctors and their wisdom to find the right treatment for Bennett.
  • Pray that God would supernaturally shrink this tumor on His own.
  • Pray for our other children and their ability to cope with Megan and I gone so much. She is with them now for a few days. Pray they have a sweet time together.

Here’s one last thought I’ll share. Between being trapped inside by the icy roads in Lafayette and not a lot of sleep, our older two kids used up pretty much all of my grace and patience during the last 48 hours. So with very raw emotions, I went to bed on Tuesday night deflated and crying out to the Lord, “I’m done being strong. I’m just ready to be done.” I’m so gad the Lord did not listen to me that night!

Because tonight, as I rocked Bennett, I was struck by his strength. Less than 24 hours after I was begging to cross the finish line, my 18month old son was giving me a lesson in strength. You see…strength is not your ability to do something. It’s you ability to endure something. Being strong is being able to take pain and courage is knowing that pain is coming and choosing to go out and meet it. Bennett has endured more than any little boy should ever have to and has kept his smile, his laugh and his joy the entire time. So as I laid Bennett down in His crib tonight, I prayed theses words…

“Lord, forgive me for my weakness and please make me strong. Help me courageously stand in front of whatever I must while we wait for You to carry us across the finish line…in Your time and in Your way. I trust You and Your strength”

#Pray4BabyBennet

18 Comments

  1. We are human & your entire family has been dealt a lot. The Lord understands & forgives. You and Meagan witness for Him everyday. He knows how much you love Him. May He give you peace. Praying hard for you all.

  2. Ben you and your family are called “My Beloved” by Our Heavenly Father. His love, mercy & grace are forever because of Who His is not because of who we are or what we do/don’t do.
    Standing with you for your precious Bennett, God is mightier than anything that can come against him.

  3. Ben,

    You need to forgive yourself for losing your patience after 48 hours locked up with, not one, but two little bundles of energy. With all that is on your mind and heart about Bennett, who wouldn’t have lost it. No matter that you see cracks in yourself, all of us see you and Megan as lights shining for Christ as you face the most difficult time in y’all’s life. Crazy as this sounds, you guy’s are helping so many people with your transparency and faith in God.
    Love,
    Linda

  4. As a parent we have all had moments where our patience wear thin and at just the right moment they do something that must makes us smile. It’s at those times that we are reminded of God’s strength and might. May God continue to keep you and Megan strong and may Bennett start to benefit from the treatments and the doctors are able to find the right treatment for him.

    With much love,
    Kevin and Cherry Greene

  5. Ben, please know that there are many of us in Opelousas praying for your precious Bennett, you and your entire family. God’s hand is so evident in your cross and miraculous faith. He has you, buddy. Hang on and let us carry yall in prayer. Sending much love in Him. Kathy P.S. My husband, Neal, who suffers a form of muscular dystrophy, is offering his daily cross for you guys. xoxo

  6. Ben, much love and prayers going to all of you… k

    So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)

  7. “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.” Psalm 103:13-14

    Ben and Meagan,
    Be encouraged in your weakness and total dependance on God. We meet Him in those times of utter despair and He lifts our faces with his gentle yet mighty hand! Standing in faith and praying with you all.
    Love,
    The Perkins family

  8. “…strength is not your ability to do something. It’s your ability to endure something. Being strong is being able to take pain and courage is knowing that pain is coming and choosing to go out and meet it.” Yes and amen. Such wise words. I know you are praying that “this cup would pass”–we are, too. Praying for increased faith that He is good no matter what. Praying for strength to endure, because even Christ “endured the cross, scorning its shame.” Praying we would keep our eyes on Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith, during the storm and that we would not focus on the waves, however crushing they may seem, just as Megan and George prayed in the previous posting. Thank you for sharing your journey with us–Christ is being magnified even as our hearts are broken with yours. Love you guys. Praying, begging for healing.

  9. Dear Jesus, in the name of my healthy children, bring the Coleman’s broken hearts and fears to our Father God. May our prayers and love reach the Coleman’s and lift their spirits and strength in you. Although I do not know what they are going through, Jesus you know it is not easy to carry a cross this big. Father God let Ben, Megan, and the Coleman children continue to presevere through these trouble times on this troubled journey. Dear Father God, in Jesus awesome name I pray, your will be done. All my love and prayers, Ann

  10. Through your and Megan’s posts I hear God sanctifying your suffering and using it to make you steadfast in your faith. Thank you for passing it along to those of us who wait and pray alongside you.
    “My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

  11. I believe Ms Linda said a mouthful “You and Megan are shining lights for Christ” not only in the lives of us as the believers that wait anxiously for the next update to wrap you guys in prayer, but in the lives of people that have lost sight and touch with The Lord.
    I spoke with someone today that recently crossed paths with you and Megan. His words to me were ” knowing what they are going through and seeing their strength solidified for me that there is a God”
    The lives you guys are touching is unfathomable. Praying for y’all night and day, and standing beside you in mind and spirit as we all expectantly wait for our Great God to move this mountain.

    Your greatest weakness is my greatest strength. Exodus 4:11-12

  12. You are human and at times our patience and strength will be exhausted. The Lord understands and is there to lift you up. Bennett is the ultimate image of strength, and I am praying for God to use His superhuman power to heal him. Praying for many blessings for Bennett and your family.

  13. Praying for strength and endurance for all of you in each and every day. We are praying that we all get to see God showing Himself to be strong and faithful in every part of this journey. Thanks for your transparency and your faithfulness along the way. It is edifying the body in ways that (of course) you do not welcome, but that enable us all to see God more clearly.

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